The Dinner Bell

Evelyn just always had a twinkle in her ocean-blue peepers and she had many other uncanny abilities, like the way she could smile with utilizing the least amount of muscles to achieve such, a gimmick she taught herself by practicing in the mirror night after night right before she would give her terrific tresses exactly two-hundred strokes with her gentle-bristled Victoria hairbrush, a loyal ritual that she was committed to six days a week, on Wednesdays it was time for curlers a discipline she never shirked upon.  Evelyn did so enjoy her ablutions while most people found personal maintenance an absolute bore and chore, Evelyn thought it was the highest point of her days; not that she minded making certain that lunches and dinners were on the table at noon and five-o-clocks, how could she argue this regiment - that was the time that made everybody happy after all, and making everybody happy was what Evelyn's mama and Evelyn's mama's mama prided themselves on doing. And Evelyn, she did feel honor-bound to keeping with this fine familial tradition.

But this Friday night something unexpected did indeed occur, it was 5:08 and dinner hadn't arrived on the table at the Wiedermacher's house. Hank and little Victor tried their best to be patient, but when the long-hand on the clock was now approaching the II , Hank knew it was his responsibility to inquire as to what was belaboring Mrs. Wiedermacher on this fine early-evening in the month of May. Hank tried to open the door but the kitchen was cordoned off for Evelyn propped two chairs from the bar against the door to deny entry to her scullery, it wasn't uncommon for her to forbid the family from peeking in her pots and pans either -  Hank exclaimed "what in good G-d is going on there honey?" Evelyn replied "Give me a moment dear, supper is on the way." And as promised in less than sixty seconds an all the trimmings turkey was proudly presented to Hank and little Victor. The question never would arise as to what the reason was why supper was on the table at 5:12 PM on May the 9th; the night Evelyn dropped the turkey, the first time she ever dropped the turkey and made the decision to quietly serve a meal that landed on her kitchen floor. She did use a little dish towel to reduce dust and debris from these fifteen pounds of poultry and she was really alright with that.  Maybe it would not be the last time the family would have a dinner fresh from the tiles. And so you have it -  Evelyn Wiedermacher, one of the earliest examples of food protocol - the 'five second rule.'

                               THE END